Anti-Semitic and Anti-Black Racism Chat GPT

Sometimes I wish I needed someone cause it's exhausting to need yourself for everything. To call on yourself doesn't give yourself time to rejuvenate yourself for yourself cause you always need you. You get tired of you. I've been recording and it's difficult to record yourself for hours. You have to meticulously listen to and be brutally honest with yourself. There's no one there to lie to you and say things like "Ah, I like that, that was dope, I fucks with that." Instead, you're trapped in a booth, purging everything that's been wrong and right with you in a rhythm and on the bottom and top of all of this, you're not confident, you're bravado doesn't exist. Its dark because all the light is inside the music you've been writing. The music itself is replacement for not being invited anywhere, not having on-call friends; a hobby turned into a necessity. You've gotten so use to how other rappers sound that you hate your voice, your flow, your enunciation, your diction, but you always go back in the studio and record more. It's like going to auditions for a acting role and it's 5 judges at the table and they're all you. You audition for you and you laugh at yourself, you ridicule yourself, and criticize every tedious detail. I realized I never hated anyone or said negative things about myself and I'm starting to realize why. I do those things to myself, I'm a perfectionist and that ruins things. I don't know how I could ever love myself wholly if I'm never perfect, even it doesn't exist. I have the most difficult influences in a lifetime and I have to deal with that. Drake, Kanye, Frank Ocean, J.Cole, and Kendrick Lamar. How do I meet those standards, why would I pick those influences, why couldn't I have picked less honest, less self-conscious people. Ever since I looked up to these guys, I've been looking at myself through a microscope. I rap for hours and hate all of that shit because it isn't great like their music. I just need confidence in myself, I hate needing myself so much but I need me more than ever now. Sometimes you want someone to lie to you and say "That's good, I like that verse, you sound better than so and so." But you just keep pushing CTRL Z + 3 for hours cause you're a perfectionist. But, I promise, Long Way Home will be released soon, with or without the confidence.